Monday, 13 June 2011

  • I can feel the depression coming back.
    But its different this time.
    I hardly ever get it during the summer.
    So I'm just sitting on our bed
    crying for no reason.
    I might start drinking whats left of the wine.

    I wish I could talk to him about this.
    I've tried already and he just doesn't understand.
    He tells me to stop crying because it won't fix anything.
    I know it won't. But nothing will.

    I hate my job. I hate my friends.
    I hate myself.

    I have no motivation to change any of these things.

    I have no one to talk to.

Friday, 10 June 2011

  • Got in touch with an old friend today.
    I think we're going back to dieting together.
    Which would help to have someone local.

    I remember when my motivation was SO good.
    I need to drop these 30lbs asap!

Wednesday, 08 June 2011

Monday, 06 June 2011

  • I had a blast at my reunion.
    I don't know why I was so worried about it.
    I weighed less than I did in high school
    and only a handful of people saw me when I had lost weight.

    A boy that noticed me AFTER I lost weight,
    sent me messages on myspace,
    texted me everyday,
    was there.
    I don't think he said one word to me.
    But I honestly don't remember much of the night.

    My memory goes completely blank
    after seeing an old teacher of mine.
    I really hope I didn't tell him I had a crush on him.
    I'm such a weird drunk.
    But in my defense, he is young and Asian.
    My weakness, honestly.

    So now, I'm losing weight for me.
    I have a baby shower this weekend.
    I want to lose 10lbs by then.
    This means I'll be fasting.
    WHO'S WITH ME?

    Also, check out my thinspo post.
    ITS HUGE!

Thursday, 02 June 2011

  • I haven't been doing well lately.
    My reunion is on Saturday.
    I don't know if I'm going.

    I know that I am going to start doing better
    with my diet and exercise tho.
    I want to lose weight for myself
    (and for my boyfriend)
    not for some losers from high school.

P_repAIR

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